I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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