U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
