shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
