She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
