if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
