Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
