Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
