I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
