i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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