We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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