So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
there's paper in my vomit.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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