We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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