i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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