its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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