She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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