Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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