The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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