the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
