Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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