if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
