i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
