halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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