So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
