She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
