sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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