Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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