they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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