i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
