Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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