are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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