4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
