When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
