This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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