She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I bet he comes in French.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
