I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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