Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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