I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
