Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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