now i know why i became what i already was.
do herpes really smell.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
