im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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