I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
