I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
