I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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