I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
