Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
