Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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