Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
