Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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