I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
