ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
